what a week man : )

what a week man..this few weeks of trianing make mi no energy to update my day....last week really slept very little and stuff.wed slept 3hrs thursday 2hrs and friday slpet 3...ya really feels i am so slow and really stupid when i come to army stuff really feels so bad at time.....really feels the lowest time in army in my whole life...really been throught shit cause u are really suffering and while the better ones will know what are they doing and i am there sufferring man...its so lonely so tough and so hard for mi......really know myself alot and really dontknow what to say man...ya

my sir ask mi what will u do if he out of course mi now what will i do...i answer him some stuff ya but its really hits mi so hard when heard him said that...its not i really wants the rank but i really feels that its the training and the training to a leader and the responsibility yeah...and though back those tough days and unbearable time through this 6 months then i became very sad...ya then after that suddenly thou of "her" then really sad.....ya ...its really when being thru really will think of her ya...its reminds mi about the way she treated mi late time...really painful man : (

i think i have found whats my life style is...yeah...same man .....this week nothing to do man...really wanna go out with friend and go walk walk ...but like no one to go out with too ..really miss the time in the past.......really found out that i have very very little friends as life goes on and i also dont have alot of time man...

its really painful to be at the bottom where u really dontknow what to do at most of the time and not progessing really aimlessly , its scary and not nice.....

sometimes really what u believe in changes with time...but i feels that the most important is to do good be good and do no evil or harm to others......

i am ok now but really training is tough man.... cant wait to go out and work and start my life...
now tv is showing the charity show...and i am goin to bathe now and then bookin in le..meeting my friend at 815....

just now suddenly burst out in tear when saw a comments in my blog...really thx man...felt so sad....really ....