this morning was waken up by my grandmother to answer my uncle's call, he wanna to ask mi to give him my email , we wanna send mi an article about china cars...
really damn damn damn pissed off and didnt feel good at all today, cause at first my uncle wanna see car at 2 plus but i am booking in today early so leaving house at 2plus is really very packed for mi, then josh die die dont wanna go to see the car first with my daddy but insisted wanna go my uncle at 2 plus...i know so times its not ur fault, different people have different views so no point being so stubborn and to hard to urself and others .... like i always say theres no right or wrong ...
then my temper and mood really dont feels good, really feels like shit after this few months of training i really change alot and really compare my life and my brother really feels so so so lonely at time really i am really very sad and miserable at times really very very sad.....i dont know how to express my mood and feeling really its sucks...its like i am really i am bursting...really been through shit and its so mentally torturing for mi...i feels im so lonely and hopeless... josh always said that u have a chance to choose to be happy or sad...but really i cant help de...i living in fear when i am in camp , i am sure u dont know how i feel man !
and my time outside is really percious and really terrible went time spend on booked days really turn out like shit...shit is like people kept on delaying ur time and really very pek cek...i dont know y i am becoming so short temper this period of time...really hope i can help myslef and.......hai......
i dont feels good after the visit , cause my grandfather felt so useless casue he always feels that he's old and is neglected by the society , for example today the one of the saleman kept on talking to my uncle and not my uncle and my grandfather become really angry after day saying i am the one that is buying the car and y am i not served, and then really i feels damn sad about it, cause to mi i dont wanna my grand farther to feel this way cause hes the greatest to mi man...tho hes always feels that he might be old and useless but i really love him...: )
then after that i quarrelled with my brother , tho so times we are really damn good and close but some times past really huant mi , i still remember him in the past really neglect everyone in the one in the world when he is with his ex-gf that time really 24-7 really...thats really break my heart and lost hope in brother-love le . some times my bother really dont know the shit i goin throught what he can say is i understand about what i am being thru but i really havent gone thru what i have gone thru, its really easily to say then to be understanding about how i feel.
i feels that in life its really about being pratical and being simple and nice to everyone...be contented...hai........ i dont know what to say....
Love u Grandpa and my family u all are the best , really missed u all so much man !
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